Our delish Razzmatazz cupcake
“Live in the present; come back to the moment.” — the Dalai Lama
This quote epitomizes this past weekend with my best friend, which was absolutely fantastic and exactly what I needed.
As I’ve shared here before, living in the present is (and always has been) one of my biggest struggles. It just doesn’t come naturally to me.
But this weekend, I was really able to do it without much thought. And I couldn’t be happier about it.
Like several experiences I’ve shared throughout my recovery (my anniversary dinner at the Melting Pot, with my hubby, the wedding we went to in Oaxaca this March, etc) this was one of those times where I was able to embrace the present, keeping in mind that we have a million fun moments (in the distant past and recent past) to come back to whenever we want.
And I have to say, it made for a happier, healthier, significantly more enjoyable weekend.
I was just “me” – not recovering disordered eater Melissa. Just Melissa, together with my BFF, savoring precious time together.
In this pic, that’s me enjoying our shared cupcake at FoodDance, my favorite restaurant in Kalamazoo.
My BFFs sweet-tooth rivals my own, so whenever we’re together, there’s always something sweet on the menu. But a year ago, she and I both know I might not have looked quite so happy eating a cupcake.
I’d have been agonizing over it, dwelling on it … perhaps even talking the decision to eat it aloud. (Which is annoying as all hell, I’ve come to realize. No one wants to hear it! Just eat it and be done with it, or don’t eat it! Move on!)
She reads my blog and knows what’s going on; she knows my recovery is a part of me (but not all of me), and I think we both knew it’d inevitably come up in conversation.
But since I don’t usually outwardly discuss it, I didn’t bring it up. Instead, it came up quite naturally, over coffee and, naturally, a shared dessert (an “incredible bar” which was, indeed, incredible!).
She asked how I was feeling, eating desserts and being in vacation mode for the weekend, knowing it could be hard for me. I genuinely appreciated her sensitivity and concern, and was honest and told her it actually didn’t feel hard; I’d been doing a lot better lately and had made the mental shift to just enjoy our weekend. And I did. :)
She told me how proud she was of how far I’d come this year, and it meant so much to hear it. I know seeing me eat without obsessing was a real treat (a far cry from the past), and it gave me inspiration to keep living in the moment going forward.
I also didn’t wake up early to exercise like I would have a year or two ago; there was no need to. I wasn’t over-eating, or midnight eating; I didn’t need to “make up for something.” We had biked and walked all over and you know what? That was plenty. It felt nice to move for pleasure, not for the sake of moving.
We pretty much talked, walked, and ate our way through our wonderful weekend, and I am so glad to have had this special time together. I feel rejuvenated and ready to face the week. (Well, almost!)
Whoever said, “Good friends are like wine, they get better with age” was seriously right on the money!
I feel so blessed.
